THANK YOU Ladies!!!

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Hey All,

Today's post is a post to say THANK YOU to my DT sisters from Hiding In My Craft Room. AJ from AJ Scrapbooking & Cards sent me an email early this morning. I opened her email and was INSTANTLY moved to tears! I guess I should go over why I was moved to tears....

I know some of you may not of seen my post about my Angel Babies. I have 4 of them. Sadly, my 4th one happened just a few weeks ago. I have been trying SO hard to keep it as far in the back of my mind as I can, but its easier said then done. I mean, that was my baby to I loved from the MOMENT I knew I was going to have them.  My husband has been SO caring and REALLY trying to be there for me! I thought throwing myself into my day job and my crafty job and house hunting would keep my mind from crying over my angel babies. It has to a point, but there's that moment before I close my eyes at night that I WISH I was still caring my little blessing still. But, this is where AJ and my other sisters, Angela, Jennie, and Velma, come into my life in a HUGE way!

AJ's email this morning certainly brought a HUGE smile to my face!

What Makes A Mother I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here

He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing Here

If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear,
but My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here!"
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who
had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy, Please don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons there are through
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates waiting for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
~Author Unknown

AJ and my Hiding In My Craft Room DT sisters put together a BEAUTIFUL blog hop in honor of my Angel Babies! I would TRULY love it if you would ALL go and visit each of their blogs to see what WONDERFUL creations they have made!!!

I totally feel that God has brought me into blogging to meet wonderful, FANTASTIC people that will stay lifelong friends and sisters!! I am truly blessed to have met each and every one of them!!!

PLEASE, go below and visit each of my sisters pages!!!


Here is AJ's page:

http://anjenicgibson.blogspot.com/2012/04/for-you-heavens-sweet-babies-hop.html

Here is Angela's page:

http://angelascraftyspot.blogspot.com/2012/04/heavens-sweet-babies-hop-april-30th_30.html

Here is Jennie's page:

http://jenscrapstoo.blogspot.com/2012/04/heavens-sweet-babies-blog-hop.html

Here is Velma's page:

http://snowflakedreams1.blogspot.com/2012/04/heavens-sweet-babies-blog-hop.html

Also, I would like to say thank you to Emma from My Creative Time because I saw on AJ's page that she has GENEROUSLY dontated a set of her stamps for the Hop that they created! Please stop by Emma's Store!

http://www.creativetimeforme.com/


Thank you all so much for ALL of your support to me in this time of me and my families life!! To know I have your support is more than I can ever say!!!

Lots and Lots of Hugs to you WONDERFUL ladies!

Jessica

Sharing Some Sad News With My Blog Family

Hello All,

I wanted to share some sad news with my blog family, since I feel like I can share my feelings with you.

I had a secret last week, and did not share it with you all. My hubby and I had found out last Monday that we were pregnant! What awesome news! It was something we have been trying for for quite some time. The reason I did not let any of you know is because I have had 3 previous miscarriages for unknown reasons.

It turns out, I do have a clotting disorder that we found out after MULTIPLE rounds of testing last summer. I was instructed to start taking baby Aspirin. Also, I had smoked and I gave it up, COLD TURKEY! So, finding out we were pregnant again, and with taking the baby Aspirin, AND quitting smoking, we were SO hopeful that this would work!

Sadly, yesterday, that all crashed. I found out on Monday that my HCG levels had dropped from my blood work done the previous Thursday to Saturday. As you know, your HCG must DOUBLE every 48 hours. Mine doubled alright, but doubled backwards. I knew what it ment....miscarriage. And yesterday it happened.

It SUCKS and its a VERY shitty situation to be in. And I am NOT sorry for saying that. I am VERY angry, confused, and most of all sad. I have found comfort in an online friend who was kind enough to make the badges that I know display PROUDLY on my page. I love my angel babies, and I have them looking out for me, my little guy, and my hubby. I am waiting for the day when I can meet them!

Here are my badges of my angel babies:

 (13 weeks)

 (5w 1d )

 (5 weeks)

(5w3d)

Thank you all for allowing me to share some of my feelings. I have left off some things that I was feeling cause its because I am angry. I know I would hate myself for saying some things in anger, so I am leaving it be.

I am so glad that I have such a supportive husband who knew that crafting would take my mind off all of this. He has given me all day the last few days to be crafty and not bother with anything. He wants me to mourn my angel baby, but not consume me with sadness. He wants me to know it was for a reason and that we WILL find an answer one day, and that God will bless us with another baby, that is healthy, when the time is right.

Hugs,
Jessica